


Reacquainting with the Past

by LeahheartDiane



Category: The Good Fight (TV), The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Family, Family Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Multi, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2020-07-30 23:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20105662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeahheartDiane/pseuds/LeahheartDiane
Summary: They've been perfect not until she pushed them away.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s 6:30 in the morning and a man named Kurt McVeigh had just finished preparing breakfast for three. He still has less than 2 hours before court. 

“Breakfast is ready.” He called out and few minutes he heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. 

“Morning dad.” A 16-year-old boy greeted as he bro hugged him. It’s Nathan McVeigh and he’s on 10th grade. 

“Good morning my ever handsome father!” After Tim, another greeting came but this time it’s much hyper than his brother’s. It’s Lily McVeigh, 13 years old. Lily hugged her father so tight and in response Kurt planted a soft Kiss on the girl’s head. 

The three settled for breakfast and Lily being Lily cannot stop talking. She’s so lucky enough that her father and brother are good listeners though. 

“Dad, can you join our vlog again?” Lily asked. 

“Yes dad, your latest appearance was a great hit.” Nathan added. 

“What are you two going to let me eat this time?” Kurt replied, trying to sound grumpy about what his kids did to him last time. 

Lily and Nathan are vloggers. They started covering dances and it did became great hits on the internet and so they started to explore until they weren’t only doing dance covers but other stuffs as well. And these include making fun of their father. 

Their last video with Kurt was when they surprised him with a cake. It was such a sweet gesture not until Kurt found out the disgusting taste. 

Remembering, Lily and Nathan burst into loud cackles and they are so infectious that Kurt joined in. 

“You two are the death of me,” Kurt said shaking his head. 

“Come on dad, you loved it.” Nathan teased, still laughing. 

“Nope, I just love the two of you.” 

“Awww, I love you too dad.” Lily said and sent him a kiss by pouting her lips and kissing the air soundly. “So you’re in again?” She asked expectantly. 

“Dad, on our next video, we’re going to make sure we’re going to surprise you with a date.” Nathan offered which caused Kurt to choke out his food. 

“Wait, are you already seeing someone?” From his father’s reaction, Lily came with such question. 

“Lily if dad is, let him be. He hasn’t seen anyone for eons.” Lily has been so overprotective to their dad. She isn’t welcome to the idea that a woman would come in to their lives and just break their father’s heart because a good man like him doesn’t deserve any pain in the world. 

“Nah, you two are enough.” Kurt said dismissively.

Though Kurt is a very handsome man and many women out there are head over heels to him, he dated no one. He is just one of those single dads who focuses his energy on work and on his kids. 

“Dad,” Lily cooed and being a sweet girl, she stood from her seat to envelope their father in her arms. 

“You’re the best dad,” Just like Lily, Nathan stood and hugged Kurt including his sister whose arms are still around their father. Other male teenagers are already embarrassed to hug their parents but Nathan was an exception. 

Kurt’s kids could be really a pain in the ass but he wouldn’t know what his life would be like without them. 

After their short family embrace, the three finished their breakfast to prepare themselves for their day. When they are all ready, Kurt drove his kids to school. 

“See you later dad, love you.” Nathan hugged Kurt and then followed by Lily after he pulled away. 

“Bye dad, I love you.” Lily said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. 

“Be good. I love you, too.” 

Lily and Nathan nodded as they wave their hands to him. When he lost sight of his kids, he drove off to court. 

On the other side of the world, a blonde, well dressed, and a gorgeous woman sat on her swivel chair. Legal files are all over her desk and this simply indicates that she has a lot of things to finish; it’s just that she isn’t focusing on any files, instead her eyes are fixated on her laptop. 

Her heart swells. She’s been watching their videos online but she always gets teary every time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been playing on my mind for months.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s too painful but no one could bring themselves to setting each other free because even when they were apart for 14 years, they are still wishing that everything was just a fucking nightmare and that they would still wake up in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so muuuch to Concerned reader 😘😘😘.

“I’m exhausted,” after being in court the whole day, Diane Lockhart collapsed on her chair. Diane is one of the country’s top litigators and she’s a name partner of one of the top law firms in Chicago. 

Aside from being a litigator, Diane is also known for being a feisty and a classy woman who has perfectly coiffed neck level blonde hair and who always dressed stunningly on her stilettos. 

She’s tired but she’s got a lot of things to do. Though, the legal files on her desk could honestly wait, she’s been working harder (hardest) after that very painful decision she had made. 

Her work keeps her occupied and it only gives her the night to mourn and grieve the people she had lost. It’s been more than a decade but the pain keeps torturing her everyday and every minute of her life. 

So she has to work harder than necessary because if she will not, she will be crying herself to sleep as she undergoes the pang that kept on swirling in her system. 

She misses them. She misses him. So much. But she cannot have them in her life. She doesn’t deserve them and with that, she doesn’t deserve to be happy. And though it’s heart wrenching, she has to live with the idea that she’ll never get to be with them again.

She has to stand for her decision, decision that had killed her……and him. Until now, she could still visualize the excruciating pain in his eyes when she had to say those words that had stabbed him to death.

As of the moment, she turned her chair and she leaned back as she rests her feet on the cabinet. She closed her eyes hoping she could relax for a few minutes, but the moment she did, her eyes snapped open. 

Relaxing herself and getting some rest has always been a terrible idea because it’s far draining than the exhaustion her body is feeling. 

Them. Her family. And just as that, her eyes watered. Tears have been her company every time she remembers them. 

And as her tears about to find their way out again, her laptop pinged with a notification. She turned her chair around and a smile graces her face as she plays the video. 

The video contains the McVeigh siblings with their dad. She can’t help but laugh the moment Kurt tasted the cake. 

They’re happy. He’s doing a great job and ‘their’ kids are happy. And that’s what she wanted the most, them being happy and secure……even without her. 

“Diane?” Diane jolted from her seat when a soft voice took her attention. It’s Will and he’s holding a glass of scotch and two tumblers. “thought you might need a drink?” he said carefully. 

Diane nodded gratefully. Will knows and he has been there for her and she couldn’t ask for more from him. 

She closed her laptop and walked to claim her space beside Will on her couch. 

He poured them a generous amount and just as he handed her the glass, Diane takes the liquid in one gulp. “more please,”

He didn’t intend to get her drunk but he knows her pain, so he poured her another. “You want to talk about it?” he asked, concerned. 

Diane stared at him incredulously. “Aren’t you tired yet William for listening to me all these years?”

He flashed him a gentle smile. “Never.”

The two stared at each other before Diane sighed, resigned…….again. This would be one of those many nights she has to tell him how much she misses them.

It’s been years and she should have been got used to it, but she can’t and she will never. They are her life……and she’s mourning for her life every day. 

“I missed them……so much,” She kept on saying this to him but Will could never get used as well to her pain. Every time she voices out her feelings, it always never fail to hurt Will. 

This is his bestfriend, so broken yet still trying to conquer the world even when her heart is bleeding as the knife she had stabbed there has always been there. 

Her wound is still so fresh and he knows it will never heal itself. Will wants to take all her pain ever since but he is as helpless as she is. The only thing he could do for her is to always be there and he has been. 

“I just saw their new vlog.” With the sadness in her voice, a smile still emerges in her face. “They’ve been tripping Kurt again,”

Will chuckles. “I saw it,”

And with the heavy air between them, the two had still managed to break into laughter. “They really are good at messing up with their father.” 

“That I could agree.” His grin grew wider as he remembers something. “But someone I know was still far better at messing up with him.”

Diane burst into her loud belly cackles. She knows what his talking about. 

16 years ago……

Kurt was in the middle of testifying when he received a text from his wife saying that she can no longer take the pain in her stomach. Diane was already 6 months pregnant and so he panicked. 

He drove straight to Lockhart/Garner. The moment the elevator opened to their floor, he came face to face with Will who seemed too relax given Diane’s state. 

“What happened?” He asked, panting. 

“What?” Will remarked in confusion. His brows furrowed once he was able to take in the sight of the other man and by his look, he seemed to had just flew all the way here. 

“Diane! Where is she?” 

“She’s in her office---”

Kurt didn’t let him finish and went straight to his wife. His heart is beating so fast that he almost forgot to breathe but he was only welcomed by a Diane who’s sitting so relax on her couch. “Hey,” she greeted. 

Kurt lets out a sigh of relief. She’s okay and all his worry vanished right at that moment……..but wait, “I thought you’re already on labor.”

Diane’s signature laughter echoed in the room. She stood from her seat and approached her husband who has his brows furrowed in confusion. 

“The baby is still 6 months dear,” She said as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him to her as possibly closer her baby bump would allow. 

“But you told me----” 

Diane cut him off with a kiss. “Just wanted to kiss you,”

Kurt’s mouth fell open. She had made him worry because she just wanted to kiss him? 

Diane grins at her husband and her laughter bubbles up to the surface once again when Will appeared in her doorway. “Everything okay?” His worry immediately changed into a grin when he heard her laughter and when he saw Kurt’s gob smacked face. 

“Okay,” He shakes his head and left them with a suppressed chuckle. 

“You really are into causing me a heart attack, aren’t you?” His grin appeared once he was able to get over his wife’s prank. 

“The baby and I love you McVeigh,” she kissed him again. “Okay, you can go back now.”

Back to present……

“HAHAHAHAHA!” Their laughter is gracing Diane’s office as they reminisce that moment. 

“If you did that to him, I’m pretty sure you Diane Lockhart didn’t just stop there.”

“Well…” She flashed him a known grin. 

“You women are so absurd.” Will said laughing. 

“Not absurd, we’re just so full of fun. You should try sometimes William,”

“What? To get pranked by a woman? My partner here is already enough…too much even.”

She broke into giggles again when she remembered the color draining Will’s face when she told him she’s leaving the firm because she wanted to be just a mother. 

When their laughter subsided, Will sighed. “I missed my two godchildren, too.”

Will had always been there for Nathan and Lily. He had almost wanted to stay at their house whenever he came to visit the two. “But they don’t know me now,”

“I’m sorry.” She whispers. 

“You have nothing to apologized for Diane,”

“They don’t know me either,” and with this fact, her heart swells ‘til her tears were uncontrollable again. Will’s heart aches for her and the only thing he could do is to pull her into a tight hug. 

On the other side……

After saying good night to his kids, Kurt went to his room. He should be occupying the middle portion of his bed but his heart always wants to stay on the left side while he faces the other empty side………her side. 

It’s been 14 years yet he couldn’t still bring himself to forget. She had hurt him, broke him into pieces when he did nothing but to love her every minute of his life. 

He should move on but his love for her keeps on waving at him. He unfolded his wallet and his heart aches the moment his eyes went on her beautiful face. He should have removed her picture but he couldn’t. 

They used to be happy……they’ve been so perfect not until she fucked up. 

Every time he’s left alone, his mind keeps on bringing him back to the days they spent together.

What happened? He doesn’t know and he’s not sure he’s ready to find out. 

He’s been staring at her picture until his right hand catches a tear. Why did she have to do it?! 

They are still basically married but his heart couldn’t fly to her and ask for a divorce and she didn’t either. Maybe there’s a reason, but what? What could be? To keep them hurting?

It’s too painful but no one could bring themselves to setting each other free because even when they were apart for 14 years, they are still wishing that everything was just a fucking nightmare and that they would still wake up in each other’s arms. 

To be continued……..


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's someone.... There has been someone but he’s not dating her nor will he. What they had was all in the past now.

“I love you Diane,”

“I love you, too Kurt.”

“Diane, marry me.”

“Yes! Ghad! Yes. I will.”

“I…..I’m pregnant?”

“Yes honey, you are.”

“It sucks! I always feel nauseous and sleepy and gosh Kurt! I don’t know.”

“I know honey. It’s only for months. Uhm, would it make you feel better if we go out for an ice cream?”

“It’s a boy,”

“Hey Nathan, I’m dad.”

“It’s a girl,”

“Lily..”

“Our babies have your hair color Kurt,”

“And they have your beautiful eyes,”

“I want you all out of my life!”

“Diane, you don’t mean that---”

“Actually, I do!”

Diane’s eyes automatically opened and were welcomed by darkness. She immediately flicked on her bedside lamp and it’s only there she realized that she’s crying. 

She rests her back against the headboard as she lets her sobs eat her up. It’s one of those many nights where she wakes up with tears in her eyes and her heart tingling in pain. 

Those memories kept on coming back to her even in the middle of her slumber. It makes her seek more for those warm arms that would always envelope her when she feels like, breaking, shattering or when her words can’t describe what she’s going through, there would always be his arms…warm and reassuring. 

Her heart is being crumpled over and over again. She’s tired but she has no right to complain because she was the one who inflicted the pain in the first place. 

****  
“Diane……please---”

“Dad!”

“Dad! Wake up!”

Kurt opened his eyes filled with tears. “Dad are you okay?” Asked Nathan who is now rubbing his back. 

“Water,” Lily said once she’s back in their dad’s room with a glass of water. 

“Thanks.” Kurt took the water. 

This is not the first time Nathan and Lily have to wake their dad up in the middle of the night. Though it happened many times, they still couldn’t figure out why he’s crying. His unspoken misery is always at the top of their worry. 

“Thank you. You can go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” Instead of going back to their own rooms, the two lied down on either side of Kurt. 

“Come on, you have your rooms.” Kurt said as he’s now being sandwiched by his kids. All those years he’s been telling them that they should sleep in their own rooms, they never listened. 

“Go back to sleep dad,” Nathan murmured with his eyes closed already. 

“Agreed,” Lily seconded. 

Kurt sighed as he lies back on his pillow. His kids are stubborn so it’s pointless to persuade them to go back to their rooms. 

Kurt stared at the ceiling, now wide awake. After few minutes, a soft whisper echoed in the room. “Dad?”

“Yes Nathan?”

“Who is Diane?” Nathan asked carefully. He doesn’t know who she is but the name slipped quite familiar in his tongue and he doesn’t know why. It feels like deep down, there is this strange and indescribable feeling. 

Kurt closed his eyes upon hearing the name. ‘Diane’, it used to be ‘Mom’.

“Someone,” Kurt answered briefly.

“Okay,” From Kurt’s answer, the unknown feeling is now screaming. It makes him realize. there’s something but he knows his father would talk about it when he’s comfortable. “Mornight dad,”

“Mornight?”

“Gosh! It’s a blended word. Morning and Night.” The two chuckles as they hear Lily speaks. She’s clearly dozing off but she can’t just stand ignorance so she made effort to talk.

She really never failed to remind Kurt about their mother, aside from they really are look alikes, she has Diane’s intelligence. “You kids and your terms,”

“Yep. Now get back to sleep gentlemen.” She said grumpily and Kurt and Nathan had to laugh louder this time. 

***  
It’s Saturday morning and the sun has been already illuminating the surroundings and yet Kurt’s girl was still tangled in bed. 

“Sweetie,” Kurt said gently as he rubs Lily’s back. “It’s already 9am. The food is getting cold already.”

Lily whimpers as she uncovers her face, revealing her reddish nose and puffy eyes. From that, Kurt knows. “Dad, it hurts again.” She whines and another whimper escapes her. 

There is only one thing that could put his daughter into such distress, her period. She always suffers from dysmenorrhea every month and it’s always killing her. 

“Nathan.” Kurt called out and it didn’t take long for his son to emerge in Lily’s room. He gave him the look and with that, he went to the kitchen to get her meds. 

Kurt lied beside her as Lily moves to rest her head on his father’s chest as she takes in the comforting warmth his father’s arms always lends her every time she has her period. 

Kurt’s embrace tightens as his girl soaked his shirt with her tears and muffled her sobs.

And this scene he always shares with his daughter never failed to bring him back to the days when Nathan was conceived. How their mother manage all the pain she’s been through has a quite resemblance with Lily. 

16 years ago…..

It’s still 30 minutes pass 5 o’clock in the morning and being the early man as he is, Kurt was already up. He’s always been an early person ever since but since he got married four years ago, waking up early in the morning wasn’t just about his body clock anymore. It became a routine, a routine that always aims to cook breakfast for his wife.

When he’s done preparing, he went upstairs to wake her up. He gently sat on the bed as he leaned down to kiss her. “Wake up,”

She groans as she opens her eyes. It was only then Kurt noticed her puffy eyes. “What's wrong?” He asked, worried. 

“Lay down please,” She whispers, her voice trembling. 

Kurt takes his side. Once he’s settled, Diane moves to rest her body on top of him and Kurt’s arms instantly envelope her. 

“It sucks.” She mumbles on his neck.

“It sucks what honey?” Kurt asked, rubbing her back soothingly. He’s sorting the possible reasons that brought his wife into such distress. She’s warm though but Kurt could tell she’s not burning. If this is the case then, there’s only one thing. “migraine?”

“I don’t know----” She wasn’t able to finish her sentence as she rushes herself to their bathroom. She’s vomiting. 

With this Kurt starts to freak out. “Should I bring you to the hospital?” Kurt asked worriedly as he rubs her back. 

“No,” she answered as she leans to the wall with her eyes closed. 

“Diane---”

“I’m fine, honey but maybe….” She stopped, suddenly embarrassed. 

“What is it? Tell me.”

“maybe a hug? Though you don’t have to, I mean, I smell like a vomit--” She was saved from her ramblings when the warm arms she’s been craving for enveloped her again. 

“This okay?” Kurt whispered as he pressed a soft kiss on her temple. 

“Tighter,” and he did what he was told. 

When they’re ready for work, Kurt held both of her arms and stared at her. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

She nodded but suddenly she frowned. “Did you change your perfume?”

“What? No, I didn’t.”

Diane smelled him. “You did! And it’s awful!”

“What?” Because of confusion, he dropped the word for the second time. He smelled himself and he still smells the same he smelled before he took a bath. And awful? She was the one who bought his perfume and not to mention, she likes it a lot that she always loses herself in his smell before they go to their separate ways every morning. 

“You’re impossible!” And she’s out of the house leaving a gob smacked Kurt.

Diane has been grumpy all morning. She has been throwing balls of fire making the associates including her partner, Stern distance themselves from her. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Stern asked many times that day. He’s watching her through the glass walls as she sucks the life out of her 114th victim. 

“YOU MAKE THE FCKING REVISIONS NOW!” And with this, the poor associate immediately walked out her office carrying the fear she had inflicted. 

Stern knows she rarely hurl an F word but when she does, you have to back out man unless you want to be eaten alive. 

Stern sighs and decided, maybe it’s time to check his partner. “Diane?”

“WHAT?!” She snarled.

“Woah! Easy woman.” Now he knows what it’s like to be thrown in her raging temperament. Sure she’s a tiger but today she’s not just simply a tiger, she’s a hungry one sweetheart.

Diane, with her brows furrowed scans him from head to foot. 

Following her gaze, Stern was suddenly self conscious. “W..what?”

“What’s wrong with people today? Why did they wake up with the worst version of themselves?” Her face can’t be spelled now as she says this while rubbing her temple. 

“What?” and it’s not just her husband who said the word twice within a minute. 

“Your shirt is horrible!” She growls. “You people are making me sick.”

And Stern was agape. “What--”

“Ugh!” She grips her table, feeling her head spinning.

“Diane!” And that’s the last thing she heard. 

“WHAT HAPPENED?!” Kurt asked the moment he stepped in the room. 

“Calm down,” Stern said, watching as Kurt approaches his unconscious wife lying in a hospital bed. “She’s fine.”

With Stern’s last statement, he felt relieved. “But what happened?”

“I don’t know. She’s acting weird all day and she gave the people in the firm free dementor kisses.” Stern narrated. “Diane is a pain in the ass but today she has a very terrible temperament. And dear lord, my shirt. You know, I bought this in France only to be told that it is horrible.”

Kurt chuckles from the other man's sentiment. “Same. She told me I smell awful early this morning.”

“Ghad! Your wife is unpredictable.” 

The two men were interrupted when a female doctor entered the room with a smile that doesn’t only tell their patient is fine but tells there is something else. 

Before anyone could talk, the doctor dropped the words that left two men hanging. “Congratulations! She’s 6 weeks pregnant.”

Kurt blinked at the doctor and when he confirmed that she’s not lying; his heart swells as a new wave of joy ripples in his system.

Even Stern himself who always has a say in everything was lost of words. 

“I…..I’m pregnant?” A small voice breaks in. All attention went to Diane who has been awake without their knowledge. 

Kurt held her hand and nodded. “Yes honey, you are.”

Diane lets out a scoff of joy. “We’re having a baby?” She said softly. 

“Y..yes,”

She smiled and with her free hand, she wiped his tears. The two stared at each other the way they did when they were pronounced as husband and wife for the first time. It’s as if no one is watching and it’s as if they were the only people in the world. 

“I love you,” Kurt says,

“I love you,”

Those were the first ‘I love yous’ they shared as soon to be parents. 

The following days, Diane had to endure severe morning sickness. She throws up every now and then, she has a weird cravings, and the mood? You may not need to know. It’s freaking horrible. 

“It sucks! I always feel nauseous and sleepy and gosh Kurt! I don’t know.” She mumbles her frustration on his neck one evening. Diane made her husband her bed again.

“I know honey. It’s only for months.” If only he could take her position, he would. He knows how rough she’s going through and the least thing he could do is to always be with her even she throws the worst mood swings in the world.

Kurt has always been a patient man especially with his wife, but this patience he had doubled the moment she’s having their first baby in her tummy. 

“Uhm, would it make you feel better if we go out for an ice cream?”

‘Ice cream’, with this Diane’s eyes filled with stars. “You’re so good to me,” She said sweetly as she showers him kisses. 

BACK TO PRESENT……

Kurt didn’t know that he’s already smiling. Diane had the worst morning sickness when she was pregnant with Nathan but not with Lily. When she had Lily in her stomach, she was herself…..no morning sickness and everything. 

“Dad?” Kurt was pulled back to his senses by Nathan who is already back in his sister's room. “What had you been thinking?” Asked Nathan who is now smirking. 

“Lily, your medicine is here.” Dismissing his son’s question even made the latter smirk widely. “It’s not what you think Nathan, stop it.”

“I’m not saying anything.” He said while grinning from ear to ear. 

“But your grin does,”

“Stop it brother. Dad is not seeing someone.” Lily defended. 

“You don’t know that,” Nathan, the one who always pushes their father to date always think that there’s someone whenever he caught Kurt smiling. 

He’s right though. There's someone.... There has been someone but he’s not dating her nor will he. What they had was all in the past now. 

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She suddenly looks up and looked at a far distance. She doesn’t know why but she doesn’t feel good not that she has ever felt good over the last years, this one is just different.

20 years ago……

Diane and Kurt have been together for 7 years now. They’ve been college sweethearts and being together for seven years— given their goals in life, they had been thrown countless times into many trials and hardships that had almost consumed them and that had almost caused their demise. But they came out stronger every after storms in their relationship.

One of the very serious situations their career had brought them was when Diane was already a name partner and their firm just merged with Will’s. With Lockhart/Stern/Garnder already starting to bloom, this eaten her up more than the Lockhart/Stern did. While as to Kurt, he’s been already making a name as one of the best young ballistics expert.

When their career are blooming, they are starting to see each other less and less and when they see each other, given the stress and everything their work causes them, they always spend awkward nights after an argument. Almost all of the time, Diane was the one bringing in the heavy atmosphere during those rare moments they share with each other. 

Kurt has always been so patient and understanding with Diane but when her work was already consuming her, their arguments are starting to tire him. 

It fears them more than they admit especially Diane. She felt it and the thought of him finally getting tired and giving up always stabs her heart. So when the night he suddenly appeared in her office, with that stoic face of his, her heart has been pounding against her chest outrageously. 

“W..what’s wrong?” She had suspected this but she never knew it could be more painful than the thought itself. 

“Diane,” her eyes automatically closed as he says her name. This could be the last moment she’d be hearing him say her name as her boyfriend. 

She’s been closing her eyes longer than she intended because the moment she opened them, Kurt was already few inches away from her. 

She stared at him and her eyes instantly watered. Yes, she’s being paranoid but what else could bring him to her right at that very moment if it’s not to break up with her? The past months had been rough.

Kurt outstretched his right hand and it made Diane’s tears to finally come out. He didn’t touch her cheeks nor had given her a hug or kiss, he used to do these every time she’s about to cry. But not this time, because he just lend his hand, waiting for her to take it. 

Her heart is already breaking when she took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. They are standing face to face as Kurt studies her face that was glistening in tears. 

Kurt has been a stoic man but at that moment he was deadly serious. “Diane…..we’ve been together for seven years now but I don’t want to keep going on like this.”

And right at that point, the sobs she’s been trying to keep escaped her. Her tears and painful sobs are already begging him to stay. 

“Kurt……please---” She was starting to get desperate when another bunch of sobs escaped her because Kurt, the man she thinks was already breaking up with her, suddenly went down on his knee and without leaving her puffy eyes, he brought out a small box. 

And soon Kurt revealed a diamond, so glamorously perfect that she had managed to pull out a gasp in spite her sobbing state. 

“Because I want to take this to the next level.” And suddenly there’s tremble in his voice and if she’s not at the top of her emotions, she would be laughing at him. “Diane,” He took a deep breath and few seconds…

“Diane, marry me.” He had managed to drop these three words even he was starting to be eaten by his own tears.

Diane stared at the ring then to him. There was so much love in his eyes and right at that point, she realized how paranoid she was. How on earth she wasn’t able to see it when he arrived. P.A.R.A.N.O.I.D 

She bit her lower lip, trying to stop her sobbing but she couldn’t. She wants to give him a big ‘yes’ but her sobs won’t allow her, so she nodded. She nodded and gave him her left hand which was trembling. 

Kurt managed a chuckle. His loquacious lady can barely manage a word. But it’s not the perfect time to tease her especially that she could always change her mind and that’s the last thing he ever wanted right at that moment.

“Yes! Ghad! Yes. I will.” She choked out once the ring was already hugging her left ring finger. 

Kurt rose and envelope her in his arms. “You bastard! You had me so worried.” She cried on his shoulder. 

He just chuckled and later he would tell her how much he enjoyed her reaction when she thought he’s breaking up with her. 

Just when they thought they are the only witness to their engagement, they’re very much mistaken because applauses and yells erupted not just in her office but the in the entire firm. 

“Congratulations!” Will was the first one to enter. He barely talked to Diane because the latter doesn’t like him but that moment, he can’t help not to distance himself from her. Though given their situation, he’s genuinely happy for her. 

“Dear lord, this thing makes me sick.” Whispered Stern but can barely hide his smile. 

The next thing, an unplanned party erupted in the firm as they celebrate Diane’s engagement to Kurt. 

****  
Back to Present………

It was seven in the evening and Lily and Nathan drove to a convenient store because the former was craving for an ice cream and she kept pestering him until he had enough and finally gave in to her. 

“Just wait for me here,” Nathan said with feign annoyance as he steps out of the car. Lily nodded more enthusiastically than she needed to be. Well, who could blame her? There’s no better feeling in the world other than being able to manipulate your sibling. 

Humming along the music, she suddenly had another craving; chocolates. She’s about to ring him but he left his phone in the car so she had no option but to follow her brother. 

The store is few blocks from the store since it’s the nearest parking area. It’s already dark and there are no people in the area, only their cars. Perhaps they are having the night of their lives in every establishments there. While making her way to the store, she suddenly came to a halt when she heard a something. 

A scream. Not just a simple scream but a scream full of terror and pain. Like the person whom it came from was in between life and death. 

Her mind tells her not to look. She shouldn’t look to her left. She should keep going. Fear is starting to creep in her system and her mind doesn’t want to find out. 

She should run or pretend to heard nothing but before she could take a step, her head was already tilted to her left. 

And there, there’s a girl lying on the pavement. A girl who is currently drowning in her own blood……. and there’s a guy. He’s on top of her with a knife dripping with blood. 

She felt like all the air inside her has been sucked out. She wants to run but she can’t move nor can she breathe. 

The girl was already motionless and before she knew it, she lets out a gasp of horror. She had done mistakes in her life but this is the worst she had made in her entire existence. 

The killer then looks up and catches her eyes. They locked eyes but instead of running away, the guy flashed her a devious grin and this made her almost want to throw up. 

Finally, she was able to gain her senses and ran back to their car. With the adrenaline running, she drove the car without even thinking. She wanted to get away from that place.

She’s about to just pass by the convenient store when Nathan run after the car and seeing her brother, she finally let her tears stream down. 

“Hey! Slow down and why are you even…..” Nathan suddenly stopped when he was welcomed by a rare sight. “What’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer, instead she drives as fast as she could. Nathan had to hold his breath, he’s been stopping her but she wasn’t listening that’s why he’s very much thankful when they reached the house without getting a speeding ticket or into something worse. 

“What was that?!”

She didn’t answer again instead she ran inside the house.

“Didn’t I tell you both not to ever over speed----” Kurt was about to launch a lecture when he’s stopped by the sight of his daughter. Before he could say a thing, Lily collapsed in his arms. 

She didn’t say anything, she just cried so hard that it pained both Kurt and Nathan because of the thought that their princess is heartbroken over her crush seeing another girl. 

“You’re too better for him, sweetheart. It’s alright.” Kurt whispered while still hugging her tightly. 

Nathan was about to tease her, partly to lighten mood and to just simply get back to her for her behavior a while back, but the words he’s about to hurl dried in his throat. 

“No…No..” She cried out in between deep sobs. 

This made Kurt frown, untangling his arms around her to put them on her arms to be able to look at her. Just when his eyes meet hers, he saw so much fear in them. 

“What happened Lily?”

Lily shook her head. She opened her mouth only to let out a voiceless answer. 

“Calm down, here.” Nathan who did ran to the kitchen came back with a glass of water. 

Lily shook her head again and cried harder. It was only after minutes that Kurt was able to bring her in the living room. 

“Dad,” She started, her voice trembling. “I…I saw something.” 

“What?” Kurt braced himself for the answer.

“The..there’s a murder…..and he saw me.” She broke down again, this time her sobs are painfully louder. 

Kurt and Nathan’s jaw almost fell to the floor. Neither of them can process what she had just said. 

Without saying anything, Nathan turned on the TV and the first thing that flashed in the screen was the one she’s talking about. 

16-year-old student found dead along the Marcos Street 

The news anchor reported the details of the event but the headline was already enough to make Kurt protectively wrapped his arms around his daughter.

The culprit is still being searched by the police.

***

Nathan is with Lily in her room while Kurt is in the kitchen talking to his friend who is an investigator. Kurt had called him once Lily calmed down and his friend, Rick came immediately to their house. 

“Rick, you know I can’t put my daughter into such situation.” Kurt said gritting his teeth with rage. 

“I know.” Rick said softly. “But Lily needs to be questioned for us to have a lead who the culprit is.”

“She shouldn’t review what she saw because it almost drove her crazy---”

“Kurt, we will protect her. I need her statement. No one saw him aside from her.”

“No---”

“This is for her own good. I need to know what we’re looking for so that we could easily trace the suspect.”

Kurt stared at his friend and he knows he’s right. “This is my daughter Rick and I can’t put her into a more traumatizing scenario.”

“And we will not going to let that happen.” He said firmly, assuring him. The two locked eyes when they suddenly heard an agonizing scream.

“NOOOOOOOOO!” 

“Lily?!” The two men immediately rush to Lily’s room and they’re welcomed by the sight of the latter who is crying with her brother hugging her. 

“It’s alright. We’re here.” Kurt whispered as Lily moved to his embrace. 

***  
Diane just emptied her second glass of wine. “Fuck!” She cursed as another wave of strange uneasiness ripples in her system. 

Why is she feeling this way? It must be the wine. She must stop drinking. 

So she gets up from the couch and all of a sudden, the wine glass she was just holding slipped through her grip and collided with the floor leaving a loud sound that awfully echoed in her house. 

She suddenly looks up and looked at a far distance. She doesn’t know why but she doesn’t feel good not that she has ever felt good over the last years, this one is just different.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt immediately crumpled the notes as his breathing gets heavy with the rage creeping inside him. “Pack your things. We’re going to Chicago.”

Kurt couldn’t sleep. He’s currently in the kitchen, plainly sitting on one of the stools while his gaze is fixated on his cup of coffee. He needs to figure out something, he has to. 

Rick just left the house an hour ago after Kurt successfully put Lily into sleep — with her brother beside her. 

Rick was right, they need Lily to identify the suspect otherwise it would be harder to catch him. Kurt knows how risky the procedure will be and the ‘what ifs’ are the ones responsible with his wide awake state given the late hour. 

When he took a sip from his coffee, he choked when an idea crosses his mind. He had to shake his head as the idea lingers and envelopes him. ‘There must be another option’ he convinced himself but his system is highly recommending the idea of… leaving. 

Yes, they could just leave. But where would they go other than Chicago? It’s where Kurt’s house, their house rather. And with this simple idea, he would need her. He has to talk to her for it before they would move in. 

He’s not yet ready and he knows neither does she. But this is about their children and not about them, he has to be ready to face her again because the world is too small for people. They will eventually cross paths soon so why would they still let destiny dictate when?

But how? The question is simply how? How would you face someone from your past and how would you manage those unanswered questions that will inevitably pop out? And the feelings……of course the feelings— the hurt, the whys, the pain…..the love, so how?

It is a suicide and he knows his wounds are still very fresh. He doesn’t need another. Because of this, Kurt’s hands once covered his face. He lets out a painful sigh. 

‘Her’. Yeah, ‘her’, the wife and the other half. He doesn’t have to face this alone, he doesn’t have to go through this by himself if only she wanted them. If only she wanted…… him.

And this fact hurled millions of needles right through his heart. 

Before the sun rises, Rick and two other cops arrived at Kurt’s house. Kurt with visible dark circles under his sleepless eyes hesitated but with Lily’s assurance, he was able to calm some of his paranoid instincts. 

Lily cooperated and one of the cops was able to sketch the culprit. After this, Kurt talked to Rick. 

“This is only the beginning, isn’t it? After you catch him, my daughter will have to appear in court?” With the idea of Lily being questioned in court just in front of the culprit who is already plotting how he will come back to her had him grit his teeth. 

“We will not going to let him hurt her.” Rick assured. 

“But how? My daughter’s life is in jeopardy. What if the court will find no reasonable doubt to convict him? How would my daughter still see the world with a criminal waiting for a perfect second to get to her?”

“Man you have to trust the cops, you have to trust us.” 

“The killer saw him Rick. Who knows, he is just outside the house right now.” Kurt breathed out. 

“We will not going to let him get to her.” Rick witnessed how Kurt loves his children that’s why he understands where he’s coming from. “But if you think it will help, you can go out of town for the meantime while we find him.”

And this brought him back to his thoughts last night. 

**

Days passed by and the culprit’s still out there. Kurt could tell that Lily is trying so hard to live normally but she’s not winning the little game. With the constant nightmares that always left her screaming and drenched in sweats are not convincing them that she’s fine. 

After the incident, Lily easily get startled and jumped from a simple sound and touch and she can barely eat. She is not herself but she is trying so hard to act normal just to save her father and brother from worrying too much. 

Kurt is on guard not only to Lily but also to Nathan. He has to keep them safe. They are his life, he already lost one— their mom, and he can’t afford to lose another. 

Kurt doubled his effort to watch his children, he almost doesn’t sleep at night just to make sure no one would barge in and lay a hand on them. 

He thought he’s doing a great job at keeping an eye and guarding them, but another bunch of worries and uneasiness broke into him when Nathan talked to him one night. 

“Dad?” Nathan called out downstairs after making sure that his sister is already sleeping. 

“In the kitchen,” Kurt replied. 

“Dad,” Nathan repeated and by his look, Kurt knows there’s something. “I have something to tell you,”

Kurt nodded and invited his son to the living room. Once seated on the couch, Nathan took a deep breath. 

“I saw something in Lily’s purse. I didn’t mean to…it was open and I saw these.” Nathan handed his father some letters. 

The moment Kurt opened it, he clenched his fist as anger bubbled up in his system. 

‘Hi. So I see, you already pinpointed me to the cops. Interesting.’

‘You are more beautiful in that dress. Sorry can’t help myself. I’ll be seeing you soon.’

‘Your brother seems nice. I think I want to meet him, too.’

‘Careful sweetheart, the ground is slippery. Don’t want to see you hurt, we’re still going to see each other soon.’

Kurt immediately crumpled the notes as his breathing gets heavy with the rage creeping inside him. “Pack your things. We’re going to Chicago.”

****

It’s another busy day at Lockhart and Gardner and Diane could hardly breathe especially that Sweeny once again visited them with a sparkling murder case. 

If he’s not only bringing millions to their firm, she already had buried him 6 feet under the ground. Will knows this and he had already laughed hard when he found out that they had another visit from one of Diane’s favorite clients. Will loves nothing but to see Diane rolling her eyes as she summons every fiber of patience inside her. 

“Diane,” Will said after knocking at her door. 

With the thought that her partner is just here to tease her again, she sighed. “What about this time William?”

Will chuckled as he approached her. He sat on the chair in front of her desk as his expression went serious. 

“Diane, we need a ballistics expert.”

“Okay? Then get a ballistics expert.” She’s not sure why he needed to tell her this. 

“We can’t put Sweeney behind bars. So we need a good one.” With this Diane’s brows furrowed in confusion. He can’t be telling her what her mind is already starting to conclude. 

“The best one rather,” Will stared at her and this was enough to finally send her to where his mind is. 

Diane opened her mouth to say something but a voiceless reaction came out. “Diane, he’s here. They’re here.”

‘They’re here’

‘They’re here’

‘They’re here’

Will’s words echoed in her mind leaving her with so many emotions — excitement, longing, joy….and pain. 

With those two simple words, it was enough to open her wounds even wider, exposing it to more infections. They’re here.

She wasn’t still able to fully grasp the news when they heard a soft knock, it’s Alicia. “Will, the ballistics expert is already here.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s no way she is looking at him the way she always did before. He really must be dreaming or worst, he’s becoming delusional.

It’s been five days since they arrived in Chicago. Kurt has been deeply affected by the fact that he has to go to her to ask her about the house— their house as soon as possible. 

They’ve been staying in a hotel because he couldn’t bring himself yet to go to her. He’s not doing anything yet his heart is already keeping him from sleeping and functioning well. Of course, he had sleepless nights especially when he is rummaging their memories together but this one is different. 

They haven’t seen and talked to each other in more than a decade. So how? The question is a simple how?

However, he was saved from thinking how he would approach her when he suddenly ran into Kalinda. The woman was obviously startled but flashed him a ‘been a while’ smile.

He smiled and then nodded as he continues to walk to an opposite direction when he was stopped by the brunette’s voice. 

“McVeigh!”

“Yes?”

“Do you have a minute?”

Hesitant at first, Kurt nodded and so they are now in a coffee shop. 

“How are you Mr. McVeigh?”

“Good. You?”

“Good.” The woman answered. 

“You still working at the firm?”

Kalinda simply nodded. “And that’s one of the reasons why I want to talk to you. We need a ballistics expert, the best one.” She said cautiously so as to not step into something. 

Kurt almost choked out his coffee when he heard her statement. Could she possibly insinuating that he should go for it?

Kalinda smiled and when she speaks, her voice came out softer than her usual tone. “If you’re up to it.”

Kurt thought about it. He needs a job and he has to talk to her as soon as possible, so this offer is a win win. 

But his mind is telling him that he’s not yet ready to face her but his instinct keeps on nagging him that it’s an opportunity he shouldn’t miss. 

And he lets out a deep sigh he didn’t know he has been holding. “Who?”

“The client?” Kalinda asked still careful not to rattle him. 

“Yes.”

“Colin Sweeney.” And with this Kurt lets out a chuckle. He shook his head as he remembers those days his wife comes home ranting about the man. 

Because of his reaction, Kalinda couldn’t guess whether he doesn’t believe in Sweeney being innocent or there’s something else. 

“He’s innocent Kurt.” 

Kurt didn’t say a thing as his wide grin still plastered on his face making Kalinda smile. “So, you in?”

***  
After texting his children about his appointment, Kurt and Kalinda proceeded to the firm. The Private Investigator could already feel Kurt’s nerves. He’s been letting out a deep breath countless times. 

Kalinda’s afraid he will collapse in the elevator but thankfully, they were able to make it on the 28th floor. 

Once the elevator opened, Kurt’s heart is already thundering against his chest and it doubled one his eyes landed on the ‘Lockhart/Gardner’ sign. 

He couldn’t believe that he is here after so many years. And most of all, he couldn’t believe that they are both on the same building, that she is only steps away from him. 

He doesn’t have any heart problems but right at that moment, he thinks he might get one. 

He stood at the reception, still trying to compose himself and calm his nerves but no matter what he does, he is failing. 

What did he get himself into? And is he really sure about this? There’s still time to get out, to save himself from causing too much damage on his system. 

Right. He should turn around and get to that elevator. He is obviously not ready with this death march he put himself into. 

But before he could finally make a move to get out, he heard a familiar voice. “Mr. McVeigh.”

It’s Will Gardner. 

Trapped. There’s no way he could get out already. Slowly, he lifts his head and Will, a still good looking man since then, smiled at him. 

Kurt could feel the other man’s uneasiness and he’s not sure himself if he does the same to him. “Mr. Gardner.”

The two men shook hands before Will introduces Alicia Florrick. After the short introduction, Kurt couldn’t bring himself to take a step as they lead him to the direction he still very much familiar with. 

Nothing has changed in the firm, only the design and decors. So he knows where they are heading. 

Will sensed his reluctance so instead of leading him to his office, the one opposite to hers, he leads them to the conference room. 

Once settled, Will and Alicia briefed him about the case as he tries so hard to concentrate. Kalinda as well gave him some CCTV footage to review. 

“Kalinda, Alicia, could you give us a minute?” Will asked once Kurt was already oriented about Sweeney’s case. 

The two women nodded and left the room. Once alone, silence settled between the two men, both finding the right words to utter. 

“How are you?” It was Will then who broke the silence. 

“Good.” He answered the same one he told Kalinda earlier. 

“Been a while man. Good to see you.”

“You too,” Kurt returned the other man’s smile. 

“Look, as much as I would really want to talk to you, I’ve got a deposition.” Will stood leaving Kurt in confusion. He’s leaving him so why did he still have to send out Kalinda and Alicia?

Will flashed him a smile he sure can comprehend. “You know where she is, in case you want to…”

Will tapped Kurt’s shoulder before leaving him alone in the conference room and alone with his bickering mind and heart. 

Is this the right time? He’s not yet ready, though, when will he ever be ready? 

His mind keeps arguing, he can’t handle another pain with his wound still too deep and too fresh.

But his heart keeps insinuating, how would he know where he stand if he will keep on running away from her? Plus, he really has been thinking about her all day and all night for the past decade. She is now only rooms away. This is the chance to finally get to see her, to finally get a glimpse of the love of his life. It still hurts so much but love conquers even the deepest wound pain could cause someone. 

And with this, his feet seem to have their own life as they lead him to her office until it’s late for him to grasp where his heading as he is finally standing at her doorway. 

There. 

A blonde with a neck level and perfectly styled hair sat on her swivel chair. Her glasses on and her left hand propped to the table with her jaw resting on it as she go over(?) the legal documents on her desk. 

She still looks the same but even more beautiful. She aged but she looks better. She’s incredibly stunning as always. 

And he felt his heart winning over his mind as he couldn’t make a step to leave. 

His heart is beating so fast that he might be needing a breathing machine any minute. Right in front of him is his wife. The great Diane Lockhart. 

He almost forgot the pain she has inflicted. He couldn’t believe the effect she has on him that by simply watching her, everything just leaves his mind like she really has that power to bring him somewhere where pain is not even created. 

He remained standing at her doorway, too lost with her not until his eyes met with the beautiful blue orbs he hasn’t seen in a while. 

***

Diane has been trying so hard to concentrate with what she is doing since Will left her office but her mind kept on bringing her to the idea that her husband is on the same building. 

Cursing herself as she feels a huge wave of longing settling on her being. She badly wants to just go look for him and……..what?

Things are not the same anymore. She pushed them away, remember?

Her heart aches with the thought that she has no right at all to throw herself into him because she was the one who pushed him out of her life. 

She must be insane. Yeah, love does that to people. 

Her heart is already crying and she inhaled and exhaled deeply many times because if she doesn’t, she might end up in the hospital with tubes helping her to breathe. 

She doesn’t know how long she has been sitting, feeling sorry for herself when she felt like somebody’s watching her and when she looks up, she almost fell from her seat. 

He’s here. Right in her office. He is here looking so good and handsome as ever. She has been seeing him many times on their kids’ vlog yet she still couldn’t help her heart from beating so fast like a love struck teenager. 

Her mouth opened only to close it again as words fail her. If this is her reaction when she knew he’s coming, what would it be like when she didn’t? 

“Hey,” After few minutes of just staring, Kurt was the one who broke the silence.

“H..hey,” She answered, failing to steady her voice. 

Kurt walked towards her and she could only stare. She barely breathed as she waits for him to finally stand closer to her and when he is already just a few steps away, she gestured for him to sit with her trembling hand. 

“Thanks,”

“K..Kurt…” Kurt almost broke down in front of her. Her voice saying his name for the first time in a long time made his heart ached with so much longing. 

“Diane,” And the same effect goes to her that she had closed her eyes the moment he had said her name. 

“Are you really here?” and before she knew it, these words escaped her mouth so naturally. 

“Yeah,” He whispered back, loud enough for her to hear. 

Right at that moment, they are both chastising themselves for falling easily and naturally into things they used to ‘have’. The flow of their conversation should not be this way. 

And so Kurt cleared his throat the way he had cleared his mind from the spell that settled between them. “I would want to ask you about the house. If….if we could stay there for the meantime.”

We. House. Stay. These made her dizzy due to many emotions swirling in her system. 

Just like Kurt, she needed to clear her throat before speaking. “Sure but the key is in my apartment.” 

“It’s alright, I’ll just drop by.” 

They waited for any of them to speak again but no words came out. “Uh, thanks. I should go.” And he started making his way towards the door. 

I should go. Diane didn’t know but her emotions are getting the best of her resulting her to calling his name again when he’s about to leave. 

“Kurt.” He stopped and turned around as she stands and walks to him. 

“What Diane?” He asked softly when she didn’t say anything. He knows she has something to say but couldn’t only bring herself to. 

“Uhm.” She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat again. “You staying for good?” She asked, almost embarrassed. 

With Diane’s last words, something inside of Kurt snapped. “Don’t worry Diane. We’re not going to bother you.” The softness of his voice concealing the bitterness he felt. But she knows him too well to notice. 

“Kurt, No!” Her voice low and shaky with her attempt to not throw her arms around him and tell him everything unsaid before. 

With her answer, Kurt looked at her and his knees almost weaken the moment he met her eyes. He must be dreaming. There’s no way he could be seeing those things and sparks in her eyes. 

There’s no way she is looking at him the way she always did before. He really must be dreaming or worst, he’s becoming delusional.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This shouldn’t supposedly how events turn. Diane made herself clear that she doesn’t want them in her life anymore years ago. She had pushed them away. She had injured him, hurt him, and killed him.

They stood face to face in her office, both struggling on their feet as they just both stare into each other’s eyes, so close to blurt out the three words they both knew are still there. If only it weren’t for the pain that is lingering in their system. 

Kurt shook his head, he should get going but he can’t find the will to turn around and leave. He sighed as the bittersweet feeling gets stronger and stronger. 

“I should go,” after few seconds which felt like eternity, Kurt had finally found the words, the most appropriate one, at that very moment. 

Diane shut her eyes and nodded slowly as she feels another wave of pang with the realization that he will never stay and will forever turn his back to her since she had already cut the string that had bound them and had enabled them to always find their way towards each other. 

She always needed that string that always pulls him back to her no matter how far the distance is and no matter what happened. It’s a part of her that was attached to him, serving like an alarm signal which immediately detects when something’s off to her and then would immediately bring him to her.

She always needed that and always….. will.

She wants nothing right at that very moment to be enveloped by his strong arms and get lost in the comfort he, himself could only provide her. 

She wants nothing other than bury her face on his chest and let him take away her pain and agony. 

She wants him. She had always wanted and will always want him. And she’s dying to go back to the time when she could freely and automatically face every battle and every pain with him. 

When Diane’s eyes opened, Kurt was still standing in her office as if he had just listened to her pain and she doesn’t doubt his ability to understand her. 

Their eyes locked once again and through his eyes, suddenly everything came flashing back to her all at once and pulled every ounce of strength left in her which resulted to her blurred vision until everything turned black. 

“Diane!” Is the last thing she heard and the arms, the ones she has been dying to hold her, finally, after more than a decade, held her so close to him. 

And she knew before she totally passed out, it is okay if she will never wake up. 

Diane stirred and slowly opened her eyes only to close it again because of the lights in her room. 

“Diane,” came a soft, gruff voice beside her and without opening her eyes, a small smile emerged in her lips. 

If dreaming could be this friendly to her, she would spend her every hour sleeping. She had never dreamt like this since that day and she had to enjoy it before it lasts. 

“Ms Lockhart,” and just like that, she opened her eyes as another voice automatically pulled her out from the ‘dream’ she thought she was in.

“You passed out a while ago in your office,” a man wearing a white gown welcomed her and she had to blink her eyes to realize that it’s Doctor Camp, her doctor.

She groans not caring about what the doctor had said and is about to say. She had never cared about her health because that has always been Kurt’s job. 

“Your blood pressure is high again,” the Doctor continued talking, he is just simply confident that even she doesn’t give a damn like she always has, somebody in the room is already listening for her. 

“I bet you’ve been drinking a lot, eating less, and not sleeping. Plus, been working a lot. So I am not exactly sure what to prescribe you,”

“Maybe something that will put everything to an end?” She suggested absently, her voice still hoarse. 

She has been in and out from the hospital many times that Doctor Camp already know how to handle her. The Doctor nodded and flashed her a small smile, “So, I am again forced not to discharge you.”

“NO!” Came her instant protest. 

Doctor Camp chuckled. “Take some rest Diane,” he said and excused himself. 

Diane sighed and almost jumped when the voice she heard from her ‘dream’ spoke once again. 

“So you’ve been being quite stubborn?”

Her head turned 90 degrees to her right and there, sitting on the sofa is Kurt. She’s not dreaming. 

“How---”

“Well, I brought you here,” Kurt stood and made his way towards the mono block chair beside her bed. 

“You’ve been there?” She asked softly. 

“Yep and I’m surprised you didn’t bite the doctor’s head off and he seems to know how to manage you. I’m now assuming that you had been here several times for the same reasons.” He’s not a talker but when times like this, they swap roles and Diane would just sit quietly like a kid caught doing something bad. 

“Guess, some things never changed.” He stated and from her hands, Diane’s gaze went to him as she heard some teasing. 

“and so you are,” she countered. “Still the man of few words who just tends to speak more when he needs to reprimand someone,”

And he chuckled pulling her along with him. Just as easy as that. 

When their small laughter subsided, he became serious once again. “Why is that?” he asked softly. 

“What?”

“Why are you---” He’s supposed to ask why is she doing all the doctor had said but thought better of it. “You should eat,”

Diane had sensed his withdrawal and just simply nodded not because she agrees with his order but because of helplessness. 

She just watches him unpack the food he bought. “What time is it?”

Kurt checked his wrist before handing her some food. “It’s 10 minutes pass 8 in the evening,”

“What?!”

For the second time that night, Kurt chuckles. “Yeah. Now eat,”

“Thanks,” she accepted the food but didn’t make any move to feed herself. 

“Do I need to feed you?” He mocks suddenly, though he always literally did this to her before, every time she’s sick. 

“Will you?” She fired back, her eyebrows raised. 

The two once again laugh. They don’t know but they just easily fall to some old habit. 

“No seriously Kurt, go back to the hotel,” she smiled once they’re done laughing. “It’s late. The k…kids might be waiting,”

Diane had to bit her lower lip after the term ‘kids’ just slipped from her. She painfully waited for any bitter remark but nothing came. 

“I already talked to them while you were sleeping a while ago,” he answered.

And from his answer, a spark of hope came rushing through her veins. Could they really talk about their kids? Should she make him update her about them?

No. Of course no unless she wants to break the spell and scare away the man she had been unconsciously waiting for years. 

But she cannot help but to ask, “why?”

“I’ve been here for few hours now and it was only Will who came by,” he answered carefully. “and Will has to take care of something.”

Diane nodded. 

“and we wouldn’t want to risk leaving you alone in a hospital, with some poor nurses under you mercy.”

And just like that, the mocking graced the room. 

After they had eaten, they both settled in silence with Diane sitting on the bed and Kurt still on the chair beside her. 

“Doctor Camp would return later and would discharge me,”

“How would you know that?”

“You said so yourself that I’ve been here several times for the same reasons,” she grinned when he shook his head. “So, you can really leave me now,”

“You just also said that he would discharge you later, so I’m going to wait.”

“Kurt,”

Kurt just stares at her. “Okay, here comes the stoic man,”

He didn’t react and it almost scared her for a moment. “How are you?”

She stares back at him, searching for some mocking in his eyes but she found nothing. “By now, I guess you already know the answer,”

Kurt nodded.

“You?”

“Same,” He doesn’t need to elaborate, she knows and understands. 

They lock eyes once again and before she could withdraw the words that formed inside her, they already slipped from her mouth. “Glad you’re here,” she whispers but still loud enough for him. 

The words had caught him off guard. Of course, he had felt she needed him to stay but he never imagined she would say it. 

But is it the only reason why he’s dumbfounded?

Or there’s more?

Such as a possibility that she’s not just simply glad that he’s there with her in the hospital because there’s more? Perhaps, glad to be with her ‘again’ after so many years apart. 

And before he could say something, his eyes caught a glimpse of liquid that suddenly came out from her eyes but she is just so quick to wipe them away. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers again but this time her voice cracks. 

But there goes again some double meaning words, is she sorry for the tears? Or? 

Diane looks away but it was a wrong move as the act led her to the place where she could no longer contains her sobs. 

Why is she sobbing? She shouldn’t cry while he’s there. She has no rights to cry in a room with the man she had hurt so much. 

But it hurts, too.

It hurts so much that her sobs and tears became suddenly unbearable. Here he is, the man she loved the most, sitting beside her after so many years but he is so close yet so far she can never cross the gap no matter how much she wanted. 

Her sobs struck him like bolts of thunder. He had never expected this and he cannot understand why.

Diane is a very strong, independent woman but if there’s only one person allowed to see her vulnerability, it’s Kurt. 

“Diane,” he said cautiously. 

Upon hearing him say her name, her sobs grew louder. She missed him so much but the pain and wound of the past had missed her more, and so, here she is, unable to control herself. 

He is now getting really puzzled, he could sense something is off but he has no idea. 

Kurt stood from his chair and took a seat on the bed she’s occupying. The move made her face him. 

“Diane, talk to me,”

“I can’t,” she shook her head, her voice breaking. “I wanted to but I can’t.” 

And with a practiced move, Kurt pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her petite and shaking frame while she cries herself. 

This shouldn’t supposedly how events turn. Diane made herself clear that she doesn’t want them in her life anymore years ago. She had pushed them away. She had injured him, hurt him, and killed him. 

But for the first time after he and their kids moved out from Chicago, he had finally had a glimpse of her side.

Did he really buy her ‘I want you all out of my life!’ years ago. Did he?

What did really happen?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily cried harder and Kurt had to shut his eyes because alongside his daughter’s sobs is their mother’s. 
> 
> Diane’s sobs had blended with their daughter’s and now Kurt cannot detain his own tears.

He held her in his arms as she clung to him for dear life. Her shoulders are still shaking, her sobs still painfully echoing in the room, and her hands resting on his chest with the cloth she found there balled in her fingers. 

His heart wanted to burst with the different emotions sparkling in it. There are pain, confusion, agony, longing, and love…of course love, the only thing that is keeping him at bay right at that very moment. 

He could just simply run away, run away from that room and run away from her….her, the one who had caused him so much pain yet the one crying now as if she is the one who is in the position she had put him in years ago. 

Yet look, here he is, here they are…both managed to summon one of their ‘things’ from the past to the present. The thing about giving comfort without any knowledge yet as to the other’s misery, and the thing about giving up their own independence just to take it freely and sometimes, greedily. 

His heart aches over the fact that she’s hurting, not just hurting, hurting so much that he couldn’t imagine what would her pain will do to her when she’s alone. 

Perhaps, she would just over work, not eat, and of course drink a lot…And suddenly Kurt froze as a realization hits him hard. 

There…. He just unlocked the reason behind why she’s in the hospital in the first place. 

The pain, her pain that still remains unidentified for him, is demanding too much attention but she’s been neglecting it and to shut it up from pestering her even for just a short period is to do those unhealthy habits that had brought her to the hospital not just once. 

The urge to find out what she’s going through grows stronger and stronger with every painful sobs she lets go. 

He’s helpless right at that very moment and he hates it. He had always hated the idea of having no idea how to help her ease the pang she’s feeling.

His helplessness made him hugged her tighter and just closed his eyes as he whispers ‘everything will be alright’. 

Just like that, the past had taken its supremacy over the present that they held each other the way the ‘husband and wife’ they were years ago. 

When Diane calmed down, her grip on his shirt loosen and though not ready to pull away from his embrace just yet, however she’s forced to when his phone rang. 

“Sorry,” he apologized and gave her a small smile before he stood and turned his back to her as he answers his phone. 

“Dad where are you?” Nathan asked on the other line. “What time are you returning?”

“I might not be able to return just yet,” 

“Lily is looking for you, threatened to go out the streets--”

“What?” Yes that’s their daughter, just like Diane.

“Dad!!!” and there’s the scream, scream that made him distanced his left ear from the phone. 

“Who are you with?!” Nathan’s voice was substituted by Lily who sounds like she just snatched the phone from her brother. 

Kurt can’t help not to shake his head, Lily might be going through something but nothing would hinder nor stop her over protectiveness to him.

Just when Kurt was about to answer, Dr. Camp once entered Diane’s room. 

“Ms. Lockhart---”

“Ms. L—what? O MY GOSH! It’s a Miss! YOU’RE WITH A WOMAN!” 

“Listen sweetheart, I gotta hang up. I will call you soonest, love you.” And Kurt hang up the phone to be able to listen to what will Dr. Camp say. 

“I believe there’s no reason to hold you any longer here,” the doctor said. 

Diane sighs happily. “Thank goodness,”

“But Diane, you have to take care of yourself.” Dr. Camp reminded, his voice firm this time but it just made Diane role her eyes.

“Thank you Dr. Camp,” Kurt said politely and the other man smiled at him and with one last known glare at Diane, he excused himself.

Once left alone together, a silence for a few seconds settled between them and just like the usual, it was Diane who broke it.

“So,” she uttered. 

“So,” Kurt repeated.

A small smile curved to her lips. “The kids are looking for you,”

She expected his face to show disgust or cringe with her second mention of the word ‘kids’ but nothing came, instead, he just move to sit on the mono block chair near her bed. 

“I know,”

“You should go,” she said softly.

“Yeah,” he answered, his voice mirroring hers.

Diane nodded, mentally slapping herself for wanting so much to be with him….with them. 

Kurt stood and Diane prepared herself to watch him turn his back and go. However, instead of seeing his back, an outstretch hand came. 

Diane blink her eyes but the moment they opened, the same outstretch hand is still being offered. 

Kurt chuckled at her reaction, he used to kiss her when moments like this happen. “Let’s go,”

“What?” she asked, still dumbfounded. 

“You heard Dr. Camp, there’s no reason for you to stay here longer.”

“Yeah, I did. But---”

Kurt cut her midsentence when his outstretched hand landed on her right hand. “Let’s go,”

Diane blinked her eyes, her heart wanting to jump out of her chest with the instant electricity only Kurt could impose. 

Kurt waited and though still dumfounded, Diane rose and let him lead them outside…hand in hand. 

She always loves holding hands with him, it made her want to walk any distance with him and would never feel exhausted.

“I already texted the cab, he’s probably already outside waiting,” Kurt said as he walks them towards the exit. 

Diane didn’t answer but held his hand tighter than neither of them expected. Once outside, Kurt has been right because there’s already a cab waiting for them. 

He lets him in first then joins her after. Even inside the cab, their hands are still holding to one another. 

After 10 minutes of silence, they’re finally outside her apartment, the same one they both shared when there was still just the two of them and before they finally decided to have their family house in the country when they already had started building a family. 

Now he doesn’t know what to do. He was sure a while ago, his brain had already figured the next thing to do, but now it’s failing him. 

Sensing his concern, “Kurt, I’ll be fine.” She’s not quite ready yet to let go of him but he has to go. 

“Are you sure?”

“I am,” she flashes him a small smile and before she could digest her next move, she had already leaned closer to him and planted a kiss on his cheeks. Both of them were shock, but well, at least it was on the cheek. 

“Good night Kurt,” she didn’t wait for him to recover nor say a thing, she went out of the cab and walks directly towards her door fighting the strong urge to look back. Before she knows it, she already inside her walls, her back resting against the door and her shoulders finally fell down, letting another round – stronger round of misery consume her. 

Her left hand still grasping the knob while the other now on her chest as she allows a new wave of intense pain overwhelms her entire system. 

Just like that, her sobs echo painfully loud in her apartment. Her knees instantly aren’t able to keep her upright any longer for the pain is too heavy to bear. 

Her body slides itself against the door until she is already sitting on the floor. 

Her deep cut is overwhelmed by the ‘glimpse of THEM’ the ‘THEM’ which supposedly not hurting her right now, instead, supposedly the one easing her pain. 

Diane just stayed like than for no one knows how long except for the pain that had always keeps her company. 

On the other hand…

Kurt was too occupied that he didn’t immediately recognize his kids upon opening the door absentmindedly. 

“WHO’S MS. L-SOMETHING?!”

Kurt flinched when he heard Lily’s question. “Hey,” he approaches both his kids and gave them a kiss on the head. 

“Dad, you seem distracted,” Nathan who is beaming at their father observed. 

“You didn’t answer me! WHO IS MS. L-SOMETHING?” Lily repeated and Kurt had to chuckle at his daughter’s frown and crossed arms. 

“You both go to sleep now because tomorrow, we’re moving in to the country,” he said instead.

Nathan’s grin grew wider with his father’s last statement, clearly, Ms. L-something must be someone. 

“Stop grinning like an idiot brother!” Lily admonished. “Dad, do I have to repeat my question again?”

Kurt sighed. Of all things she could inherit from Diane is the Lockhart’s strong will, well, on some things it’s wonderful, but to things like this….well you’ll be just pestered all throughout unless you tell them the information they are seeking. 

“Dad?” Lily demanded with her quirked eyebrow. 

“You’ll meet her soon,” before he could even asses his reply, it instantly slipped from his mouth without coordinating with his mind. 

“Huh!” She exclaimed. “So, this Ms. L-something really does exist,”

“Looking forward to that dad,” Nathan laughed when once again his sister gave him her dramatic eye roll with a dagger. 

“Now go to sleep,” on normal days, he would join Nathan in making fun of the overprotective Lily or join Lily in admonishing Nathan for always wanting him to date but not tonight. 

However, instead of following Kurt’s command, Lily and Nathan stare at him curiously in response to his distracted demeanour.

“Please, go to sleep.” Kurt repeated and both hugs them. 

Though their curiosity grew stronger, they both know not to push their dad when it comes to situation like this. 

“Good night dad,” Lily said who suddenly came down from her fury. 

“Good night sweetheart,” his daughter once again hugs him before going to bed. 

Immediately, after Lily retreated from asking details about Diane, Kurt’s mind went to the same woman that he forgot Nathan is still there, staring at him and trying so hard to comprehend what’s behind his stoic expression this time. 

“Dad?”

Kurt blinked upon hearing Nathan. “Y—yes?”

“Are you okay?” Nathan asked worriedly. “Did something happen?”

‘A lot happened’ Kurt’s mind answered. “I’m okay Nath,”

Nathan nodded, though not quite believing his father but chooses to leave him alone with his thoughts for now. 

“Okay, Good night dad.”

“Good night Nathan,”

Once both his kids have gone to bed, Kurt went to the kitchen of their suite and poured himself a glass of water instead of bourbon. If he’s doing this, he has to keep a 100% sober mind. 

He then sat on one of the stool and instantly, his mind brought him back to the woman so broken he had to hold in his arms a while ago. 

This is not how he had expected, not even on the list, events would turn. His pain for the first time had given way to something that had his instinct question his pain. 

Could really be the pain she had caused him the real battle here? Or the real battle is the one still unknown?

All throughout the night, Kurt remains seated in the kitchen while he tries his best to rummage his memory as to what could’ve been wrong before which he failed to see?

However, his memory had given him no input…..but wait, his heart….his heart seems to have a decision…

He should talk to her. 

She might – no crap that – she is the only one holding the key…..Yes! the key, the key to unlocking both of their misery. 

Oddly enough, his instinct’s voice is louder this time and it’s now berating him for not listening to its tiny voice for the past years. 

It had only taken him his daughter’s trauma and safety over a murder now hunting her to finally make him decide to see her.

If only he had the courage before to go see his wife, ask her what’s going on. 

Though, some part of him could not blame his decision before because of the two kids who were very much depending on him. 

But still, he should have done better……tried harder not to be eaten by the pain she must have just thrown to him in order to cover something – wait, that’s it!

That’s it! There’s something he should have known that she is hiding from him. 

He should go to her now….

Kurt stood but all the thoughts of going to Diane vanished as he once hears his daughter’s horrified screams. 

“Lily!” Came Nathan’s worried voice. 

He ran towards her daughter who has her eyes still closed but now panting and covered with sweat.

Kurt and Nathan waked her a few time before she finally opens her eyes. Upon registering his father, Lily immediately throws herself to his father’s embrace. 

Lily cried harder and Kurt had to shut his eyes because alongside his daughter’s sobs is their mother’s. 

Diane’s sobs had blended with their daughter’s and now Kurt cannot detain his own tears.

What is happening to his family?

Nathan, on the other hand, remained standing, trying his very best to fight his own tears. It pains her to see his sister at such state but with his father’s silent tears? His heart is now being crumpled. 

He’s helpless – but does he a hundred percent helpless? Or there’s something he could do.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As he listens to her painful sobs, his mind went back to rummaging all the possibilities that would make her this sad and broken.

After three days….

Kurt hired a taxi that would bring them to the country. Together with his kids, after securing their luggage, they rode the cab. 

Both Nathan and Lily are at the backseat while their father is seated at the passenger’s. 

Kurt then instructed the driver to stop by first at Lockhart and Gardner for he had to get the keys from Diane whom he hadn’t heard anything from since that day in the hospital. 

“Where are we going?” Lily asked. 

“I need to get something first,” Kurt replied. 

“What something?” his daughter followed up. 

Since Lily had heard the doctor saying Diane’s surname, she didn’t stop asking things especially something she suspects that would relate to “Miss L-something”.

“Keys Lily,” Kurt clarified as he knows too well what her daughter is implying. 

“Kay,” she replied. 

After a few minutes, they are finally in front of a building. “You could look for a parking space, I might take for a while,” Kurt said to the driver. 

“I thought you were just going to get some keys?” Lily asked instantly with her raised eyebrow. 

“Lily, stop. Go dad, don’t mind her,” Nathan butts in which instantly earned him a dramatic eye roll from his sister. 

The driver nodded and with a glance at his children, Kurt went out of the car and entered the building without looking back. 

Kurt doesn’t know why there’s a need for the cab to look for a parking space when he’ll be just getting the keys from her. 

He knows he needed to talk to Diane, about the things he doesn’t (didn’t) know about, though he is not certain what questions he would be asking that would bring out the answers he has no idea about. 

It didn’t take him too long to reach the 28th floor. Once he’s already on the said floor, his mind is chastising his heart for wanting to jump out from his chest. 

He didn’t know how he will approach her, so his mind keeps on suggesting some ways but just as he was already few steps towards her office, all the ideas and suggestions faded and left him alone with his nerves. 

All he could do is to take a deep breath and just let the situation take him (them) to anywhere it wanted him/them to be. 

“Kurt,” Just when he was about to turn to Diane’s office, Will came out from his which is in front of Diane’s. 

“Hey,” Kurt greeted. 

Will smiled and handed him keys which instantly furrowed his brows in confusion. “Diane is in court, she asked me to hand them to you,” he explained. 

“Ah,” he replied, nearly regretting saying the word because if Will noticed the disappointment in it, he didn’t show. “When is she coming back?”

“I am not sure, she just asked me to give you the keys and left,” Will answered.

Kurt nodded and gave the other man a smile. “Thanks,” 

Will responded with a smile and Kurt then turned his back but all of a sudden he stopped and turn to him again. 

“Can I…uh, can I get her..uh---”

“Cellphone number?” Will fills in.

“Y..yeah, if it’s alright,”

“Of course,” 

Will then gave him Diane’s number which he knows will have him in trouble with her once she finds out. 

With an exchange of ‘thank you’ and ‘no problem’, Kurt then left the Lockhart and Gardner’s firm. 

When Kurt is already out of sight, Will immediately dialed Diane. “Done. You can now come back,”

“Thank you,” she said on the other line. 

“I don’t understand, why did you have to hide from him?”

He could hear a sigh from her, a sign there is really something going on again that would take a glass of scotch to make her spill them. 

“Okay, just come back.” Will said. 

***

While waiting for their dad, Nathan and Lily decided to go out from the cab and went to a coffee shop since Lily herself insisted. 

“You pay,” Nathan said once they had given their order. 

“Is that how a good big brother supposed to act to his loving sister?” Lily replied and laughed when his brother’s face playfully cringes. 

With a final eyeroll, Nathan retrieved a cash from his wallet and handed it to the cashier. 

“You’re the best brother! I love you so much!” Lily yelped and hugged him.

“Okay stop!” Nathan said while laughing when his sister pouted her lips and was about to kiss his cheeks. 

Lily was also laughing along with her brother when she suddenly stopped as another pair of siblings, brother and sister, entered the coffee shop. 

“Brother look,” she said. 

When Nathan turned his head towards the entrance, his lips grew to a bigger smile. “Hey, Florricks!” 

Just like him, the two he just called Florricks smiled and the younger one who is Grace immediately run towards Lily for a hug. 

“Hey,” Zack said and turned to hug Lily, too and afterwards Nathan.

The Pairs of siblings had gotten to know each other two years ago, when the Florricks are in LA and went for a walk that led them to lose track of their way back to the hotel. So they decided to ask people and that time, the McVeighs just walked out from a store when the Florricks approached them. 

Nathan and Lily gave them directions but judging by the look of Grace and Zack, they decided to give them a ride back to their hotel. 

They exchanged numbers and during the Florricks’ stay in LA, they bonded with the McVeighs. 

“We are going to stay here for a while but at the country,” Informed Lily.

“and speaking, as much as we wanted to do the catching up now, we need to get back to our cab,” Nathan said. 

“We’ll call you,” Lily said as she hugs the two Florricks again. 

***

The 40-mile drive had Kurt’s mind refreshing him with all the lovely memories they had before.

Diane’s humming whenever they drive towards their house; her singing every time she’s in the mood to let her husband hear her beautiful singing voice; her loud cackles that always echo inside their car; her stories and rants; just her, his Diane, the love of his life who holds majority of his happy memories on earth. 

Kurt’s heart aches over the memories but thanks to his kids singing at the backseat for providing enough distraction that his mind doesn’t stimulate his tears. 

Nathan and Lily are singing and dancing along with Black Pink’s Kill This Love. 

“Do you guys understand what you’re singing apart from the ‘let’s kill this love’ line?” Kurt who is now smiling asked. 

“Dad it’s a great music. We don’t have to understand, just sing and dance along,” Lily answered. 

Kurt just shook his head and smiled at the driver who seems to be really entertained by his kids. 

“My daughter likes watching their videos on YouTube, she’s a huge fan,” the driver shared. “Once she finds out I just met the McVeighs, she will go nuts.”

Kurt laughed at the last line. 

“Awww, that’s so lovely. Would it be alright if we’ll just make her a video greeting?” Lily offered.

“That would be so much great,” said the driver and handed them two his smart phone. 

Lily and Nathan then made a video greeting for the driver’s daughter. 

***  
“Wow, it’s a very beautiful here,” came a compliment from Lily who is clearly amazed with the surroundings. 

“Who owns the place?” Nathan just like Lily is amazed with the property. 

‘us’ answered Kurt’s mind. 

“I’ll give you a tour later but for now, we have to get settled in the house,” Kurt said and leads the way towards the house which embodies Kurt’s style on the exterior and Diane’s on the interior. 

“There’s a car! Yes, at least we have something to use brother when we meet up with the Florricks,” Lily said happily as a gray pick-up resting on the garage came of sight. 

“Florricks?” Kurt asked. 

“The kids we were telling you that we helped two years ago,” Lily recalled. 

“I see. Wait, are they somehow related to Alicia?”

“Who’s Alicia?” Nathan asked. 

“A WOMAN AGAIN?! We’re not done yet with Miss L-something and you are saying another woman’s name again?!” the ever overprotective Lily exclaimed. 

All Kurt could do is to scratch his forehead and laugh. “She’s one of the lawyers of the case I am going to testify with,”

“Just to be clear,” 

“It might be their mom since Zack said their mother is lawyer. We only had met their father before,”

Kurt nodded and opened the front door. Once the door swings open, everything that is Diane welcomed him. 

“Wow, it’s not what I expected it to look like. I actually thought it would be all antics here,” Nathan blurted. 

“It’s beautiful,”

“Yeah, the lady owner had carefully picked each furniture here.”

Kurt tried blocking all the memories in his head that came flashing with renewed forces. 

Their house seems to be maintained well and everything looks exactly the same only for their photos which can be nowhere to be found. They used to be in every corner of the house, now they’re gone which made Kurt’s heart aches even more. 

He’s not sure if even Nathan and Lily’s rooms upstairs were already upgraded but still, he walked them upstairs and upon opening Lily’s room, an unexpected one welcomed them or more like him. 

Kurt was surprised because this room used to be a young Lily’s room, he didn’t expect it to be something that would be for a teenager. Diane really had upgraded it and she just seems to know which bed sheets and furniture to place in their daughter’s room because Lily couldn’t be any happier. 

There are also the girl stuffs especially for the face and for the hair. 

Lily had also a wonderful room but this one is much beautiful, no doubt Diane is really the best when it comes to designing the house. 

“Dad, wouldn’t be the owner get mad if I touch all of these?” Lily asked. 

“Be comfortable, no one’s going to get mad.” Kurt assured and upon planting a kiss on his daughter’s crown, he left the room to go to Nathan’s.

Just like with Lily’s, the room isn’t already filled with cars and robots as it used to have. It is already a room of a teenager boy. 

“Dad look! Music room,” Nathan said as his head peaked on the door of the said room. 

“Yeah, go try the instruments.” He said. 

With a sigh, Kurt was left with no choice but also to go inside the master’s bedroom, a bedroom which is the number one witness to their love. 

When he turned the knob and the door gave way for him, his heart swells. Nothing had changed. It is still the room which they had shared only this time, there’s no traces of her. 

The room is empty; no makeups, perfumes, lotions, creams, and jewelries. Also, there are no shoes and massive wardrobe in the walk-in closet. 

Kurt sat on the bed and his heart started to long for the trace, for the scent, and for the signs that Diane is there to share the room with him. 

***

When the Lockhart and Gardner building is already left for Diane and Will, the latter then picked a bottle of scotch and two crystal tumblers, then went straight to Diane’s office. 

Upon noticing Will’s presence, Diane took her glasses and instantly closed her laptop. “You just know what I needed,” she said. 

“Because I am your amazing bestfriend,” he responded which earned a laughter from her. 

Diane walked around her desk and made her way towards her sofa and just collapsed there as Will pours her a generous amount of liquor. 

“Thank you,” she said as she accepts the tumbler and went directly to the liquor. 

“You want to talk about it?” Will carefully asked. 

Diane sighed. “I almost told him,”

Will nodded and didn’t say a thing because with all the nights he spent listening to her, there is actually no words that would make things easier for her. 

“I just broke down and he held me in his arms and…” she gulped. “and all I wanted that moment is to ask him to never let me go,”

Her voice is so sad and despite hearing her talk with it many times, Will couldn’t get himself used to it. It still hurts so much, so much that he would just pull her into a tight embrace to reassure her and even him that everything will be going to be alright. 

But will it really be?

“I missed him…so much,” her voice cracks and this time, Will had to let her cry on his shoulder and so he pulled her into his chest. 

Later that night, Kurt is sitting at the balcony with his cellphone. His kids were already asleep as they had spent their energy roaming around the farm and swimming at the lake.

Kurt has been sitting there for almost an hour, trying to reason out with his system who is urging him to make use of the cellphone number he got from Will. 

With one final sigh, he dialed her number. His heart is pounding so loud that he fears it could be heard to the other line once she answered. 

When the ringing stopped, he held his breath as he waits for her voice.

“Hello?” 

“H..hey, it’s me,” 

She didn’t answer right away and he is 100% sure it’s because of being surprised not because of trying to guess who he is.

“Kurt,” she said softly. 

“Yeah.”

And a silence settled.

“I…I went to your office this morning and you weren’t there,”

“uhm, yes, uh… I’m sorry,”

“No need to apologize,”

And another silence settled between them. 

“Uhm look, I just want to say thank you and also for the car, you didn’t have to,”

“I know but I wanted to,”

Kurt paused for a while before he uttered his next statement. “The kids love their rooms so much,”

He could hear the sob that she was practically holding but still escaped her, betraying again her will to keep her tears at bay. 

“Diane?”

She sighs and he knows she is trying to still detain her emotions. “I…I’m glad they like it,” she whispers but still loud enough for him to hear. 

“Di,”

And her sobs finally echo through the line and Kurt had to close his eyes because honestly, the pain she inflicted to him is just a dot compared to the pain caused by the fact that she is in deep misery and he is so helpless.

“Di, what can I do?” Before he realizes it, the words which he used to asked when he was so desperate to make her feel better but didn’t know what to do came out from his mouth together with the usual helpless tone. 

She didn’t say a thing, just cry on the other line. 

“Say the word Di and I’ll be there,”

“No, please Kurt, No.” She said and he could imagine her puffy eyes and red nose by now. 

“Okay but I’m not hanging up,” he said with finality. 

As he listens to her painful sobs, his mind went back to rummaging all the possibilities that would make her this sad and broken.


End file.
